Mom's handbag

Allow me to introduce you to my mother's handbag. Well, it has everything except the thing that she or anyone else might be looking for. Oh, I know before I go on, you all will point it out to me saying, "Wait, a minute! We can't find stuff in our own bags most of the times as well.", but before you get there I wanted to mention a couple of stuff. One can literally find the most ridiculous objects in it. 

Err, mom I promise I'll keep your handbag's privacy and I'm only going to talk about the items which are no less than irrelevant. A few hours ago, I had to search for Boroline. Yep, I know we Bengalis love it. As I went on looking for it in the drawers, table, top of the fridge shelf, bathroom closet and every possible place, I was unable to find it so I turned to the ultimate search guide: MOM! She asked me to look inside her bag and that's when I knew that my search is about to get real wild. This almost convinced me to stop looking for the creme but she coaxed me to stop being such a lazy dull dud and forced me to search anyway. Aaaand here it goes!

Well, this is the weird part and it happens everytime. Whenever we go out and we're looking for money or change or even the phone (I'll come to this part later), she always ALWAYS ends up looking in the wrong section. I don't know if the bag is onto her or it does that just to irritate her. Anyway, coming back to the point, I started searching - Now, this bag has four sections (the first zip, the middle zip, the last zip and the small zip at the back)

The first zip
As usual, like mom, I too start with the wrong section everytime. I keep digging and I find stuff like
empty medicine strips
threads
torn pieces of paper with NOTHING written on it
hankies (2-3 of them)
keys (alright, this is relevant)
plastic bags (maybe relevant?)
small thin religious books (now that explains the uncontrolled heaviness)
No BOROLINE!

Moving on to the second zip
Lots of empty bottles of homeopathy meds. Empty? Damn! I could've popped some pills.
No BOROLINE!

Third zip and by now I almost lost it and gave a shoutout to my mom as well saying: There's nothing in here!. She screams back: Keep looking! It's gotta be there in a corner.

This section was surprisingly empty

Finally, the smallest zip at the back and this is where she chooses to keep the phone! And this is the part I wanted to talk about. If she EVER receives a call, there's no way she's going to be able to successfully find her phone till the last ring. She also missed the entire call and found the phone after the call converts into a missed call. But anyway, there was success here! I found my BOROLINE lying at a corner stuffed like a small teddy. Ooh, I found an adorable keychain in there as well..Wait, why am I talking about a keychain?

So, I found the stuff after searching the entire bag. Yes, you'd think that had I started the search with the smallest zip, this wouldn't have been such a herculian task. Now, if you think about it, this kind of highlights Murphy's law a bit.

On a very very serious note to all my invisible lovely readers out there: I'm so sorry. I've been off the radar blog for a while now. It was sort of a dare from my hubby that I should get back to writing or he's going to stop talking. Ooh, did I mention that I got married? Lot of stories coming up on the married life front as well btw. 

Roomie Revenge

The previous two posts did speak a lot on the lines of marriage. Let's take a bit of detour from those, shall we? Before you start hovering more around the title, I'll break the ice for you. I've been traveling a lot in the last few months. I know! I know! That's SO unlike me. No, not traveling like once to the Alps and then the next day to the Kandahars. I meant - traveling to home and then my second home back and forth. Hence, the concept of packing has been a little too --- well, let's just say I've a PhD in it by now. I'm sick of it. Tired of packing and unpacking. Even reached a point where I literally did not unpack certain stuff and just took it straight out from the bag after hours of searching my closets. Closet is a very fancy term for someone who stays in a PG but that's not the point! Coming back to packing - this time it's sort of a major step forward. Yep, I'm leaving Chennai. I'm moving back to the land where I was born. Initially, I was excited about it but then once I started thinking of all the stuff that I've to give up, I was disheartened (and this is a bit of an understatement!). My roomie and I were talking on what I've to give up and we came up with a bunch of stuff.

Roomie: When are you gonna start packing?
Me: I've sort of already started if you didn't notice.
Roomie: Uh huh. Where exactly have you started?
Me: Remember, how I threw away the eggs the other day..
Roomie: Wow, score! Throwing away the eggs - that's packing alright.
Me: No no, seriously. I'm freaking out. I've so much stuff and I'm only allowed like 20 Kgs of stuff that I can drag around.

*after a few minutes of silence*

Roomie: Relax! You'll be fine. Let's figure out what you can't take with you.

*she starts listing down*

Roomie: Bucket, mugs, laundry bag, plastic trays, cereal boxes...
Me: Whoa whoa, boxes? I've a lot of them. Would you like to take away the salt/sugar I've stored in 'em?
Roomie: Sure.
Me: I've got Surf Excel as well. 
Roomie: Sure.
Me: You can keep the sandwich maker, btw.
Roomie: Sure.
Me: I've got some clothes as well.
Roomie: Nah, I'm good.
Me: I've got some moisturisers and shampoo bottles.
Roomie: Plural? I'll take them.
Me: You can use my tray, btw.
Roomie: Sure.
Me: My bed as well.
Roomie: I know.
Me: Yeah, you use that anyway when I'm not around. 
Roomie: *grins*

*after an hour of waking me up from almost sleeping*

Roomie: Hey! You won't be able to drink or hangout with your friends anymore.
Me: Thanks for bringing that up. Let's just focus on goods in Chennai, shall we?
Roomie: You won't be able to talk to your friends on the phone at night either?
Me: Uh huh.
Roomie: You won't have time to watch movies on your laptop.
Me: Uh huh.
Roomie: You won't be able to hang up on your mom when she talks about marriage.
Me: Uh huh.
Roomie: You won't be able to order outside food much even when you're craving for it.
Me: Uh huh.
Roomie: You won't be able to reach home early just by walking from work.
Me: Did I do something to you? Go back to sleep!

The more I thought about it, she was actually right. I was so busy in planning on what I'm looking forward to that I almost forgot about what I'm gonna be giving up - My freedom! And it did suck but then silver lining to the rescue. 

*waking her up*

Me: I will be able to cook my own food.
Roomie: Uh huh.
Me: I will be able to have fish every single day.
Roomie: Uh huh.
Me: I will be able to stuff my clothes into the washing machine and not worry about handwashing!
Roomie: Uh huh.
Me: I will be able to watch TV!
Roomie: Uh huh.
Me: I can get broadband connection and download movies in seconds.
Roomie: Uh huh.
Me: I will be saving on rent. :D
Roomie: *glares at me*
Me: I will be saving in general as well. :D
Roomie: Alright. I'm real sleepy. 
Me: No more power cuts!
Roomie: Get your tush back to your bed!

More in my next post which will be written soon. *tongues out*