My mother thinks I'm gay.

Now, I don't know if it's just on my computer or everyone faces something similar. The Matrimonial Ad[s] : very irritating sometimes. They just happen to pop up or just stay there at one corner of the website. And they always ALWAYS put up a girl's picture for the banner. Why just a girl? Why not put up a guy's picture? Like we girls are the only desperate species to go get married :|

Not that I'm particularly mad about the girl's image or anything but I was reading an article related to my project and there was this Matrimonial Ad saying : Hi, I'm Heena, 22 years old. It was just there. I couldn't block it or anything, so it's not my fault if it's there :|
My mother walked in to ask me something and she sees the Ad. Little does she know that it's JUST an advertisement, she freaks out totally.

Mother : What are you watching?
Me : Umm, what?
Mother : What are you doing at shaadi.com?
Me : I'm not at shaadi.com :S I'm reading an article.
Mother : On girls who wants to get married?
Me : * still confused * Ma, what are you talking about?
Mother : Do you find that girl attractive?
Me : Which girl?
Mother : That girl HEENA!
Me : * after realizing that she saw the ad * Oh! Maa, that's just an ad..
Mother : * interrupts me * Isshhhh! Do you like girls? * raises her eyebrows *
Me : Well..
Mother : Oh my GOD!
Me : :|
Mother : Do you not like guys?
Me : Of course, I do. I like both guys and gir.. Wait a minute. Like in which sense?
Mother : Do you want to marry a girl? I can find a very good boy for you. Boys are good. Girls should marry boys not girls. Okay? * tries her best to convince me *
Me : Maa, I don't think of girls that way. Will you calm down? You're embarassing me.
Mother : * takes a different level * You ever had a boyfriend?
Me : Umm, not really.
Mother : WHAT? You only had girlfriends?
Me : I have friends who are mostly girls.
Mother : What about boys? You don't talk to them at all?
Me : Of course, I talk to them!

While this was on in the background, my msn messenger was on and my friend Sush pings me saying..
Sush : Anaaaaaa! I love you SO much. Your idea worked. I thrashed him away. He's gone now. If you were a guy, I'd have married you.

A very bad timing for my mother. :|
Mother : Who's that?
Me : Nobody.
Mother : Sush? That sounds like a girl's name.
Me : Maa, she's just a friend.
Mother : Why does she say she loves you? Oh god, what did you do to my child * gets upset *

And now my mother thinks I'm gay. :| Whenever I get phone calls from a girl, she freaks out even before I do.

So, seriously! You matrimonial ad agencies out there : A guy's picture. Once in a while! Alright?

Describe yourself

We all try our best to describe ourselves. Online descriptions can be witty, funny, or right to the point. I've been to a bunch of forums and networking sites where a person's ''about me'' or ''profile'' section made me stalk or block the person. Mainly block but let's focus on the main point here.

The rock and rule description

I am the best person you'll ever come across in your entire life. I rock at singing and I rule in playing guitars. I rock with my friends all the time. My life rules and so will yours if you rock with me. If I rock and you rock, so our lives will rock! I rule big time. Let's rule together. Let's rock!

The positive-negative description

I've a positive outlook towards life. I can think positive and be positive. I loathe people with negative attitude. Remember, two positive minds can give birth to a positive idea. But when a negative mind is combined with a positive one, it gives birth to a negative idea.

The life-explorer description

My life has been very empty. I am still trying to figure out what life has in store for me. It's hard to understand life when life is trying to understand you. I'm lost in life.

The laugh out loud [lol] description

i'm a very sweet girl.. lol.i am a very down to earth person but that doesn't mean i'm below the earth.. lolzzz.. it just means that i get along with people very well lol. i love to sing and dance lol but drawing is my hobby. i can be a prankster lolzzzzzz so if you want to be friends with me lol then message me. hehehehehehe

The orkut description

@m d@ Qu33n 0f 0rku| / m /\ i /\/ T0/-/ /-/ 3 r 0 b@n g@y@

[insert some more ascii characters and glitters here]

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

$$$$$$$$$$$$

$$$$$$$

$$

[every profile has some dollar sign pattern thing going on]

The facebook description

--Most of them are too cool to not enter anything at all in the ''about yourself'' area because the other sections almost speak 90% about them.

--At times the person's facebook quizzes speaks more about them in installments like

''I am an Ariel princess'' or ''I am very romantic lover'' or ''I will die in the year 2020'' and etc.

The initial letters description

Hi, I'm bholu!

B- best

H- honest

O- outstanding

L- loving

U- understanding

The musical description

I love music! I've lived my whole life on music. I eat, live, and breathe music. I'm a music freak! I can listen to music 24/7. I dig all genres!

The life partner seeking description

I'm a nice boy. I come from a homely neighbourhood. I am looking for a very beautiful girl who can cook for me and love me day and night. I am very gentle and kind. I'm looking for a soulmate.

The caps ON description

HI.. I AM SAWANT.. I LIKE TO PLAY TENNIS AND RUN BEHIND CHICKENS. I WORK OUT ALL THE TIME. I AM LOOKING FOR NEW FRIENDS. MESSAGE ME SOON!

The indian-gone-western description

Hey yo! i'm ritesh but you can call me ricky. my dudes call me ricky and ricky rules! chicz dig me 'cuz i'm kooooool. i love to drink and pardy hard! i'm wicked! if u wanna pardy, come to ricky! that'z me.

The indian pride description

Namaskar! I'm Naresh. I love my country. I respect my people and indian cultures. I do not like people who hates indians. If you are an indian or a foreigner who loves indians, then you are welcome to be my dost [friend]. Jai ho!

The attitude babe description

I'm weird chic and you've to face that. If I'm rude to you then just buzz off. Extra sensitive people turn me off. You've gotta be cool to get to know me. And all those of you who suck at english, bugger off!

The learning english description

helo i m looking frends with you. my name tej..29 year age. if looking 4 tej know me!

you like me then like you back.

The profile picture description

Hello! I'm new to this website but if you don't know me, my picture will tell you everything. You can probably make out from my looks what kind of girl I am but not make out. Hehe. I think a profile pic is important online. I'm very slim as you can see in the profile picture. If you like my picture, then message me.

The non case sensitive description

HeLLo i Am LoOkInG fOr FraaanDz.

The extra-mile-witty description

Hey everyone! I'm Malini from India. Now, when I say I'm from India, that doesn't mean I ride elephants and go to school. Nor do I eat paan and spit on the roads all the time. I'm pretty the kinda girl whom you would think is sweet but is not! Don't expect me to do a dupatta show!

If you come across these profiles, let me know which are the ones you would stalk and block.

Alright, bring on the tomatoes and eggs!